2024-03-23
I often find that I can't put my vision into words. Even when I push past the frustration and embarrassment and manage to say something, the words come out cheap.
I was never especially good at putting things into words to begin with. So I try to record as many of my feelings and thoughts as I can. Last year, thinking I'd eventually like to build an AI model of myself, I stepped up my digital record-keeping.
Recording lets me trace the process of my thinking. That way I can read the difference (the diff) between my past and present thoughts, which in turn leads to useful insights. It has probably helped me put things into words a little, too.
Still, expressing what I want to convey simply is not the same as merely recording it.
I understand it in my head, I have the idea, but I can't think of the words to convey it, and I'm stuck.
The reason you can't put something into words is that you don't actually understand it. When I hear advice like that, my struggles start to feel pathetic.
When I'm stuck like this, I make a point of meeting all kinds of people to get some inspiration. There's no use agonizing alone. Sometimes I confide my problem directly and ask for a method ("When that happens, try this!"); other times I let the other person serve as a medium and express it for me ("Isn't that what you mean?").
So this time, I'd like to share some advice I received. When it comes to ways of putting things into words, what to focus on boiled down to two points:
The first, "keep searching for words," means that in order to encounter words that fit you, you have to keep looking for words that truly resonate deep down.
Finding words that resonate takes a great deal of effort. It can take years, if you're unlucky, but when you find them you think, "This is it (Eureka)!"
The way to encounter such words is simple and clear.
I see. Yes, that was true for me.
I had been searching for words for what I most want to cherish since my first year of university, and only found them after six or seven years. They could be expressed in a few kanji characters, and they were very simple. Now I accept them from the bottom of my heart.
Finding them took enormous effort. But I tried to put it into words again and again. Most of the time, I ended up with roughly the same content. That's only natural. What I wanted to express was the same all along. What I want to express is already within me.
It's just that I wasn't satisfied with the words I used to express it, and they felt off. If you sort through your thoughts regularly and don't give up on expressing them in words, at some unexpected moment you'll find words that click.
In the end, what I always think and want to say is the same, but when the words fit, they settle in and feel like my own. And that leads to confidence, too.
The trouble, though, is that they are hard to find quickly.
That's where the other piece of advice comes in: "Don't be bound by words."
Words aren't the only means of conveying something. Once it was pointed out, it made sense, but it had been a complete blind spot for me.
Putting things into words belongs only to the world of language, and finding words that fit is hard.
I had been too bound by the need to put things into words.
There are other ways besides putting things into words. Using diverse media such as music, theater, painting, film, and spatial design widens the range of expression dramatically. Existing works, such as dramas, anime, manga, movies, and novels, might work well too.
You don't need a long-winded explanation to describe the simulation hypothesis. You can just say, "Picture something like The Matrix." To explain the worldview and vision of AR and VR, you can have someone watch Dennō Coil (an anime set in a city overlaid with AR) or Ready Player One.
If you still want to put it into words, try doing so with those media as a reference. You may find words different from the ones you use every day. In my case, books have often given me the chance to come across words I wouldn't encounter in daily life.
Music, I'm sure, can be good material too. When someone told me, "Why not try expressing it through music?", I thought:
"What does it even mean to express it through music?!"
I was surprised, and at the same time it was fun. Since then, I've come to think that conveying a vision through something other than words could be really interesting.
If the words feel off, you just have to keep searching patiently. Words are not everything. There's no need to draw a line and limit yourself to words alone, to putting things into words alone. You can lean on all kinds of expression, and there are countless ways to express things.
This, I felt, was something even I could do. Receiving that advice lightened my discouraged spirits.
For the vision I have in mind, I haven't yet found the right words or expression. But that is surely just a matter of time. And the same goes, I think, for anyone who is still searching and feeling that frustration now.