2024-04-24
Feeling happy deep down yet somehow sensing that something is missing is not a bad thing. If anything, it is a good sign.
That is because this sign shows that happiness is not of just one kind.
As is well known, happiness is a state of mind. So reaching some particular state does not mean it will last forever. To keep from straying off the path, we have to understand the kinds of happiness.
Broadly speaking, happiness can be divided into three kinds: progress, calm, and being.
And in my experience, the feeling that something is missing comes from these three kinds of happiness not being fulfilled.
Progress
The happiness that comes from things moving forward. We feel it when we are savoring some change or growth in a good direction. It is found in habitual activities such as study, work, volunteering, and sports.
Calm
The happiness that comes from keeping the mind, the body, or both at peace. We feel it when we are relaxing or refreshing ourselves. It is found in leisure activities such as walking, travel, hot springs, reading, listening to music, and entertainment.
Being
The happiness that comes from connecting deeply with the existence of people, things, and oneself. It is found in the sense of security and belonging that comes through connection in faith, love with family and friends, and interaction with a team or community.
None of these three is special; they can all be felt in daily life.
But we were not born in order to be happy. If you want to be happy, you have to move in that direction yourself. If you feel something is missing, it is likely that you are overlooking something.
A common mistake is to close yourself off from being with friends and family, or from other possibilities, because progress matters most to you. The reverse also happens: believing that calm alone is happiness.
The size of each bucket of happiness, and how much it holds, differs from person to person. There is no need at all to worry about how others feel. It is far more important to recognize what you find happiness in, and how much.
Being satisfied with one kind while neglecting the other kinds of happiness breeds further dissatisfaction and anxiety. It will not lead to very good results.
It is not as simple as pursuing all of them endlessly, but one thing can be said for certain: happiness is not of just one kind, and the different kinds can coexist.